The New Face of Dressage…

…in the alternate dimension where I’ve been elected Queen of the Universe!

Button braids are replaced w/ the much more fun and low-maintenance “gear cut” funky mohawk.  Shaved/plucked sides of the “dressage tail” replaced with the stylish (and less likely to incite constant tail rubbing when it grows out) belled tail.

Top hat replaced with ASTM-certified riding helmet (added benefit for me is that the chin strap helps visually delineate my barely-existant jawline).  Tall boots replaced with paddocks & vintage Ariat Terrains (new Ariat Volant XT is acceptable… taking your sweet time in accepting the Terrain’s obvious superiority means that you must now pay nearly $100 more for the same chap… oh, & also a Spanish top).  Coats & shadbellies replaced with the much-more-practical-in-Florida t-shirt (it’s got rhinestones on it, so it’s fancy).  Note the addition of the mini-skirt: so much more flattering than just breeches on so many body types!

Butterfly driving bits shall henceforth be recognized as dressage legal, so long as no curb chain is used & the reins are fastened on the snaffle ring… because doing so makes it functionally identical to a baucher.  And I can’t find a baucher with a solid mouthpiece, dammit!  Please ignore the fact there is a curb chain in this pic, & the fact that the reins are actually fastened to the top curb ring.  That’s how we ride on the trail (I don’t generally ride w/ contact when we’re hacking, & I very much like to have reliable brakes), & although I changed the bit from our grubby old hacking bridle to our doesn’t-quite-fit-but-looks-swanky leather bridle, I neglected to re-set the reins/curb chain to our usual schooling configuration.

Note, however, that even with my flaily hands wielding a curb bit, no noseband was necessary to crank her mouth shut.  Things that make you go “hmmmm”…

In all seriousness, I just wanted to share my excitement at having a photoshoot with my fantabulous horse!  So far, I’ve only seen a fraction of the final product, & I couldn’t be happier.  GAWD, I love my horse!

Also, look!  Proof that I actually DO ride her, sometimes!  Granted, this was one of two rides we got in between her coming back from the gate incident, & then having to remove a sarcoid-esque tumor that finally started bothering her… but that’s a story for another post.  Which I’ll hopefully make before another month passes…


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